some days

I feel incredibly, incredibly thankful.  Some days I feel like myself again and my purpose is clear.  He is very good, despite everything I’ve been through and everything I’ve done, I can only try to be better now and bring that humanity to the work that I do.

With every ending comes another uncertainty.  It’s in this uncertainty I find myself at my worst: lethargic, hopeless.  I can only hope that I’ve learned from that and that I can move forward better with gratitude, focus and a sense of being present.

And on you.  I don’t want to care about you the way I do- but I do.  I’m so aware of the reality.  Then I get annoyed at myself- wondering why, seriously why?  There are qualities about you that I do like and the ones that I don’t I find oddly charming.  I will miss you though you don’t see me in that way.  I’ll miss you and I better get over this soon.  If only you knew.

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“You’re the best”

“Thanks for your willingness to help”

“Couldn’t have done this without you”

“You’re my rock”

The worst part is, sometimes I’m okay with that.